Finding faith as a man and its impact on the kind of men we want to be...so if you're not into the faith side of me as an individual, just giving you warning and I won't be offended if you decide not to read this post...:)
Today I wanted to focus a little more on faith and its role in transforming our hearts and souls into being the kind of men or people we're supposed to be. I'm not a theologian, but only speaking to how much I have appreciated the Lord's influence on my heart and soul.
Personally I do believe that men and women have very unique make-ups that complement each other when we come together in a union. Our energies are often juxtaposed with each other, but somehow balance us out when we learn how to manage OR blend our energies.
My wife is very different from me emotionally. We are both individuals made up of genetics and environmental factors that make us unique. That uniqueness can create conflict, but when we both look for the good in the other and respect that the other's approach isn't wrong, just different, we see the benefit of that balance in our kids. I am quicker to discipline and less likely to be swayed by cries. My wife is more affectionate, nurturing and patient. Sometimes my approach will work best for household harmony, and sometimes her approach will work best.
The benefits are that the kids understand the unique energies we possess and come out more "balanced" - too much discipline might cause more rebellion, too much affection might cause rebellion as well. But between the two of us, we work together well as a team. She has softened me somewhat, and that allows me to react to situations in better ways, and I have hardened her somewhat so that she can react to certain situations in better ways as well.
One example was about three weeks ago, I blew up on my oldest. I was yelling and demonstrably angry. We had been dealing with a consistent defiance at bed time for weeks and frankly I had had enough. My little one was crying, but I was basically in a mindset of "you NEED to understand how upset you're making me." Well my wife entered the room with a concerned look on her face. She didn't say anything, but just made eye contact and walked out. She RESPECTED me enough to not contradict me in front of the kids and undermine authority, but she had the courage to intervene on my daughter's behalf to break the "mood."
Her look also disarmed me. It wasn't one of judgment which could escalate things, it was one of genuine concern. I stepped out and lay down and prayed to understand how we were going to get the message through to my little one...I reached out and was quick to feel remorse for my anger and felt the need to look at how quick I can be to anger. I realized quickly that I was not my best and I immediately went into the room and apologized to my daughter. I also explained why I got mad and I told her I was going to really try to not "yell" again. But I also explained how I would not be lenient on the rules laid out once I had explained it - a zero tolerance verbal contract of sorts. No argument, just clear boundaries. And we prayed together for more understanding between the two of us.
She forgave me right away which warmed my heart, and she said she understood. Since then, the defiance has been reduced drastically, and I have not yelled. When I catch myself getting frustrated I remember that night and try to correct myself quickly to reposition how I speak with her and it's worked nicely.
In Christianity we learn about the importance of the union - Genesis 2:24 ESV / 2,649 "Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh." I get that now more than ever. When we work best it is because of our differences that balance each other out.
But it also teaches us that we need to change from the inside out by allowing Jesus into our hearts to work the magic through the Holy Spirit so that we can be pleasing to God. Part of that process for me is to learn more, question more, and search for more inside myself. But I have also found it very helpful in working on some of the energies that we as men give into too often that hold us back from getting to know our Father better.
With that in mind I thought I would leave you with some links to some sites with some cool scripture that can target the strengths and weaknesses that we have as men. In so doing we can concentrate on feeding those things that make us stronger and starving out those things things that weaken us.
7 Bible Verses For Men of Faith
Leadership, humility, perseverance and more. No this is not a rah rah cheerleader read, but it does call out the things that we need to do in our lives as men in our communities, churches and families to be able to live up to our potential and avoid pitfalls. https://abideandseek.com/7-bible-verses-for-men-of-faith/
Another Site with Some Ideas On What It Is To Be A Man
I am in the infancy of my development, but I am enjoying the journey.
