Last night my family and I went to our local McDonald’s because it has become a family tradition of sorts. My girls and I join mom for her ultrasound appointment for the baby boy inside each month now. Afterwards we head to McDonald’s for a couple of happy meals. My girls LOVE this little tradition now and they talk about it for days when they know mommy’s appointment is coming up.
I love it too because McDonald’s has always been a place where I have fond intergenerational memories. My grandfather would take my brother and I to his local McDonald’s or Hardees where he met with other WWII vets in his town to shoot the @#*$. My mom would take my brother there from time to time as kids, and I enjoy seeing the different people that eat there at different times of day. While the food may not be the healthiest for “everyday” eating, once in a while it’s a nice treat to share with the family and we ALL look forward to it now.
But last night I saw something that brought me back to my childhood, and I saw it through slightly different glasses. I saw a couple of families there, but with a single parent and their child / children. It reminded me of when I was a kid, but at that time I didn’t know how hard it might have been on my mom as a single mom trying to work and take care of a couple of kids - a couple of kids who seemed to enjoy acting up and fighting as much as possible. McDonald’s serves as a nice neutral ground to bring kids, get a decent meal on the cheap, and not have to clean up or cook. At the same time, as kids, it’s a fun place to go and its a nice treat.
I realized I hadn’t written much on Divorce recently and found a few articles that might help people going through that major life change. At one time I was going through and finalizing my own divorce and know that it can be a heart-wrenching experience, but I can also speak to what can happen afterwards. There is light, life continues and gets better with time. Today I can’t imagine my life without my wife and my children and I thank God everyday for the chance to be the husband and father that I get to be today.
How to Get An Amicable Divorce
Some basic advice in this article, but nonetheless helpful. Things like being future focused, avoiding negative comments about your ex, and more. Ultimately, you are on the path to separation or divorce. It’s not a fun process, and it can be excruciating, but if it is the only solution, try to get through it as quickly and painlessly as possible. The sooner you get through it the sooner you can start to recover and heal the way you need to.
Local Resources For Those Going Through Divorce
Here’s an event that happened yesterday in Massachusetts. While not local to our area in CT, there are likely events like these that happen in your neighborhoods. Churches and other groups likely have resources for people in the middle of one of the most trying times of their lives. One thing that was critical for me was knowing that I was not alone and sharing my own situation. Once it was out there, it was amazing how many people showed up in support and how many people were dealing with similar problems.
Being around other people can help when going through a divorce. One thing to remember is that suffering through something on your own is a surefire way to make sure you suffer longer. Check out places like the Patch to see if there are local events for those dealing with the big “D”.
Reasons to Call Off a Divorce
While most articles out there on divorce are written from the “support” perspective (I.e., the reasons and how to’s about continuing with a divorce), it was nice to come across this article that calls out some reasons to hit the brakes and contemplate the decision a bit more.
When a relationship can’t be salvaged, it likely must end in a divorce (for whatever reasons). But often the two parties calling it quits still might have love for each other, still might have an opportunity to repair the relationship. If you AND your partner may “not” be done, then the effort to salvage a marriage is always worthwhile. Many can reconcile and prosper to have a life long marriage. This article in madamenoire.com highlights 3 reasons that might exist to save a relationship.
Perhaps you feel you haven’t done “everything”
You’re doing it to prove a point
Or you just think the grass is greener somewhere else
We all can be stubborn, and sometimes we get so caught up in the process that we fail to stop for a moment and really reflect on the consequences of our actions or event the REASONS why we started a process…If you know someone going through a divorce who you think might benefit from seeing some reasons to slow down a bit, this might be a good article to help them get a different perspective. Some people NEED to split up, but we all know couples who have fallen out of love for a variety of reasons, but could potentially rekindle that love and benefit from a reconciliation.